Holy Smoke! Those amazing best-of-the-year lists are finally upon us and I can't wait to tell you all about my favorites of 2001! It was another banner year for great music! There were so many records giving Pet Sounds a bad name.
Especially in this futuristic age, where musicians are smarter and more talented than ever and amazing new technology is being used to create music that sounds like nothing ever made before! Old dinosaurs like the Beatles will soon be eclipsed by incredible upstarts like The Strokes and Nelly Furtado. Led Zeppelin is now unlistenable in their ancient primeval state against cutting-edge hard-rock innovation by bands like Alien Ant Farm. And who will get "Album of the Year?" There's so much stuff to choose from! So many masterpieces! Just the other day, Bob Dylan emailed me to complain that he wished he'd written an album this year that could stand up to the latest release by Blink 182&
Okay, I'm just kidding. My point is, there's no accounting for taste (mine included). Last year, like the year before it, I found music to be mostly very unoriginal and dull. I get a lot of free records sent to me -- and I probably bought more records with my own money in 2001 than maybe the five previous years combined -- so it's not like I don't hear what's going on out there.
The thing is, I find it increasingly rare that something really, honestly, truly blows my mind. The danger here is that we have all begun to have much lower standards, and something sounds good only because it sounds marginally better than the last 10 pieces of crap you've heard before it. The new boss really is the same as the old boss, and Britney Spears and her many virtual clones are just not going to go away no matter how mystified I am by her/their popularity. Radio sucks, and thats not going to change just because I dont like it. In other words, what I think or say doesnt matter. And if there's only one lesson that stuck with me from all the new-agey therapy I went through in my 20s, it's this: If what you're going to say won't make any difference in the situation, don't say it.
Amen to that.
But let's face it -- it wouldn't be like me if I didnt bitch about at least one thing, and this past year, the one thing that annoyed the shit out of me to no end was the ceaseless, overflowing, out-of-control hype about the most not-that-talented band on the face of the Earth: The Strokes. I don't get the Strokes at all. What is the big deal about that band? Theyve been pitched to me over, under, sideways, up and down and back again, as if I simply must love their music or be labeled as some kind of societal reject. A lot of people seem to be jumping on their bandwagon with unbridled enthusiasm, but I couldnt care less about the Strokes. Here's why:
1. I liked them better when they were called The Velvet Underground.
2. Julian Casablanca's bland, uninspired, wan, soulless vocals are the most un-energetic this side of death. He makes Lou Reed's vocals sound diverse -- and he only knows three notes! By comparison, Ringo Starr never seemed so talented.
3. That "I'm a smug asshole" thing.
4.That "heroin chic" thing.
5. Three words: Trust Fund Kids.
6. Faced with a "We are made uncomfortable by this meager threat to the status quo" accusation that Is This Its original Smell the Glove-inspired cover art depicting a leather-gloved palm resting on a woman's bare ass was too objectionable, band succumbed to lame pressure from higher-ups, replacing said glove-on-ass shot with a forgettable blue and orange fractal design. Yawn City.
7. The album's least derivative song, "New York City Cops" was deleted from the final release version of Is This It. See #6 for reason why when faced with any kind of controversy, the Strokes are bunch of pussies.
8. Ok, so a couple of them are somewhat hot, but they look like they don't smell very good.
9. They're boring.
10.They suck.
I'd rather listen to Neil Diamond's entire catalog one hundred million billion times than be forced to endure Is This It in its entirety ever again in my life.
That said, a ton of terrific music was released in 2001 and I found lots of reasons to be cheerful. Everyone loves to read lists and I made a bunch of them here, so you can see what kind of music rocks my world and get a peak into some other cool rock stuff that happened in 2001 -- you know, according to me.
Gail's Top Ten Albums of 2001
1. GBV, Isolation Drills -- Because inner turmoil is sexy!
2. Buckcherry, Time Bomb -- Sex and Drugs and Tattoos and Porn Stars. Buckcherry keep Rock & Roll in the gutter where it belongs.
3. Powderfinger, Odyssey Number Five -- Australia's answer to Buffalo Springfield made the classic rock album of the year!
4. Chris Connelly and the Bells, Blonde Exodus -- Sounds just like David Bowie!
5. Girls Against Boys, Series 7 Original Soundtrack -- Ever watch Survivor and wish they would just start killing each other? If so, Series 7 is the movie for you! The Series 7 soundtrack is Girls Against Boys perfect marriage of 80's new wave and James Bond-style suspense.
6. Echo & The Bunnymen, Flowers -- Echo & The Bunnymen are coming to the party and they are bringing the Acid flashbacks with them.
7. Old 97's, Satellite Rides -- Old 97's fans are violent maniacs, and after being beaten in the head repeatedly and having three drinks spilled on me at their Irving Plaza show, I have the scars/dry cleaning bills to prove it! But this album rocks and their singer is hot.
8. Ours, Distorted Lullabies Jeff Buckley's former guitar tech does a mean Freddie Mercury impersonation.
9. Live, V -- Somehow Live's lead singer, Ed Kowalcyzk, went from being bald to having hair again. What's up with that? Was he just kidding? Live have been one of my favorite bands for about ten years, and their fifth album is an exhilarating mix of uplifting, low-key spirituality and kick ass Rock & Roll. I love this band.
10. Joe Henry, Scar -- Joe Henry is like a good-looking version of Bob Dylan, tells great stories and is related to Madonna by marriage.
Top Ten Albums That Did Not Make My Top Ten of 2001 List
1. David Garza, Overdub
2. Hugh Cornwell, Hi Fi
3. Nikka Costa, Everybody Got Their Something
4. Sloan, Pretty Together
5. David Meade, Mine and Yours
6. Mercury Rev, All Is Dream
7. The Verve Pipe, Underneath
8. Starflyer 59, Leave Here a Stranger
9. Butterfly Jones, Napalm Springs
10. REM, Reveal
Top Ten Songs of 2001
1. Nikki Costa, "Everybody Got Their Something"
2. Guided By Voices, "Unspirited"
3. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Love Burns"
4. Girls Against Boys, "One Dose Of Truth"
5. Chris Connelly & The Bells, "Diamonds Eat Diamonds"
6. Buckcherry, "A Place In the Sun"
7. Powderfinger, "Whatever Makes You Happy"
8. Echo & The Bunnymen, "It's Alright"
9. The Damned, "Song.com"
10. The Leaving Trains, "My Lost Danielle"
Top Ten Bands/Artists I Discovered Through Starpolish
1. Base Curve
2. Uptown Sinclair
3. David Nefesh
4. The Cautions
5. Ave.nue
6. Alpha Cat
7. Full Throttle Aristotle
8. Broken Joker
9. JJ (Jason) Appleton
10. Bloom
Gail's Top Ten Interviews of 2001
1. Bob Pollard of Guided By Voices: Most Career-Comprehensive, Drunkest, Most Exciting.
2. Keith Nelson of Buckcherry (Two interviews): Funniest, Most Real, Most Blunt, Friendliest, Most Frequent Use of the Word "Fuck."
3. Joe Henry: Most Professional, Most Down-to-Earth.
4. Billy Hopeless of the Black Halos (Two Interviews): Longest, Wildest, Sweetest, Sexiest, Most Off-the-Wall.
5. Alice Cooper: Biggest Thrill.
6. Matt Cameron of Soundgarden/Pearl Jam (Two Interviews): Smartest, Most Sarcastic, Most Technical.
7. Captain Sensible of The Damned: Most Insane.
8. Rhett Miller of the Old 97's: Most Unexpectedly Excellent, Most Educational.
9. Grasshopper of Mercury Rev: Deepest, Artiest.
10. Jimmy DeGrasso of Megadeth: Most Like Talking to a Friend.
Top Ten Live Shows of 2001
U2 at Continental Airlines Arena
Echo & The Bunnymen at House of Blues, Los Angeles
Old 97's at Irving Plaza
Guided By Voices at Irving Plaza
Alice Cooper at Roseland Ballroom
Buckcherry at Irving Plaza
Live at Roseland Ballroom
Elbow at Bowery Ballroom
The Damned at Irving Plaza
Powderfinger with Ours at Bowery Ballroom
Top Ten Rock Stars Who Were Nice to Me In 2001
Mike Fasano (Drummer, Warrant)
John Petkovic (Vocals/Guitar, Cobra Verde)
Billy Hopeless (Vocals, The Black Halos)
Dave Hill (Vocals/Guitar, Uptown Sinclair)
Matt Walker (Drummer/Composer, ex-Filter, Smashing Pumpkins)
Keith Nelson (Guitarist, Buckcherry)
Matt Laug (Drummer, Slash's Snakepit)
AJ Dunning (Guitarist, The Verve Pipe)
Falling James (Vocals/Guitar, The Leaving Trains)
Rikki Rockett (Drummer, Poison)
Recipients of the "Throw Your Underwear on the Stage" Award (Sexiest Rockers)
Nikki Sixx
Andrew WK
Ryan Roxie
Bill Rieflin
Yogi
Ralph Saenz
Kevin Dubrow
And Now, Some One-Offs
Best Album By A New York Band: Belvue, To Be Somebody
Independent Release of the Year: Laptop, The Old Me Vs. The New You
British Import Album of the Year: Elbow, Asleep In the Back
Concept Album of the Year: Tweaker (aka Chris Vrenna), The Attraction to All Things Uncertain
Glam Rock Album of the Year: Space Hog, The Hogyssey
Alt-Country Album of the Year: Volebeats, Mosquito Spiral
Metal Album of the Year: Alice Cooper, Dragontown
Punk Rock Album of the Year: (Tie) The Damned, Grave Disorder and The Black Halos, The Violent Years
Best Album By Chick Rockers: Betty Blowtorch, Are You Man Enough?
Best Album By a Forgotten Rock Legend: Ian Hunter, Rant
Guilty Pleasure of The Year: The December People, Sounds Like Christmas
The "Should Have Been Huge" Album of The Year: Rufus Wainwright, Poses
Tribute Album of The Year: Tribute to Big Star on LunaSea Records
Career Anthology of The Year: Al Kooper, Rare and Well Done
Millennium Collection of The Year: The Best of the Cowsills
Reissue of the Year: Quiet Riot, Metal Health
Best Anti-Courtney Love Song of 2001: Stone Temple Pilots, "Too Cool Queenie"
Rock Website of the Year: Metal Sludge (metal-sludge.com)
Best Rock Commercial: Danger Kitty for The Discover Card
Best VIP Area: Roseland Ballroom, New York, NY
Best CD of 2000 That I Didn't Hear Until 2001: Stew, Guest Host
Most Anticipated CD of 2002 that I Heard in 2001: Andrew W.K., I Get Wet
Rock Book of the Year: Motley Crue: The Dirt
Best Rock TV Series: Bands On The Run
Best Original Theme Music to a TV Series: Boston Public Theme by Thomas Newman.
Happenings In Music That Sucked
George Harrison dies of lung cancer. Smoking should be illegal.
Joey Ramone dies.
John Heffernan (AKA Johnny Heff), a member of NYC punk rock band, The Bullys, and a NYC firefighter, dies in the World Trade Center Attack.
Bianca Butthole of Betty Blowtorch killed by a reckless driver in New Orleans.
Courtney Love is Still Alive.
Limp Bizkit is Still Popular
Britney's Cleavage/Bare Abdomen
Endless Benefit Songs/Concerts
Beyonce Knowles
Bands that Wear Clown Masks And Coveralls
Made For TV Pop Vocal Groups
Boy Bands In Rehab
Cartoon Characters As Musicians
Cover Songs
Electronica Festivals Going Bust
Napster Hype
Guest Stars On Records
Nu Metal/Rap Metal
No Real Metal Revival
Music Awards Shows
Publicists Who Lie To Me (I mean, like I won't find out?)
Most Annoying Non-Music Trends of the Year
People Owning Cell Phones Who Don't Need Them
Women Who Wear Slacks Under Skirts
Movies With Unnecessary Martial Arts Choreography
Off-The-Shoulder Tarzan Crop Tops
Going Vegetarian
Nostradamus Quotes Being Misinterpreted
Drinking Lattes And Moccacinos Instead Of Coffee
Being "Indie"
Gutter Punks
Yoga Classes
Really Short Sweaters
Henna
Internet Porn Spam
Okay, I think that's about it for now. In 2002, I do hereby resolve to write this column more often than three times in twelve months. Happy New Year and Good Rocking to you all.
The Worley Gig: "Tell the Sky Don't Fall On Me."
